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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

15 cara utk jadikan roomate anda gila

1. Setiap hari Jumaat, pack segala barang anda dan bagitau kat roommate anda nak balik kampung. Selepas sejam, balik ke bilik & terangkan bhw takde org kat rumah. Unpack segala brg anda & pegi tidor.

2. Setiap kali roommate anda balik, jerit sekuat hati" horee...kau dah balik". Lepas tu menari dlm 5 minit. Lepas tu, tenung jam lama2 dan tanya dia "Sepatutnya kau dah blah dah skrg"

3. Buat2 terjaga pd tengah malam, jerit kuat2 " Tolong, kat mana aku berada ni?" dan lari keliling bilik tu. Kalau bilik kecil, cukuplah sekadar melompat 2-3 kali. Kemudian, sambung tidor. Esoknya, kalo dia tanya, pura2 tak tahu apa yg dia cakap.

4. Ambil marker, buat bulatan kecil kat lengan anda. Besarkan bulatan tu setiap hari sambil berkata "Dah merebak... dah merebak!"

5. Beli pepokok bonsai. Bercakap & tidor dengan pokok tu setiap hari. Selepas seminggu, bertengkar dgn pokok tu dan cakap "Aku tak boleh hidup sebilik dengan kau lagi" sambil keluar & menghempaskan pintu bilik dgn kuat...Buang pokok tu tapi biarkan pasu kat situ.

6. Beli pisau banyak-banyak. Tajamkan setiap malam sambil merenung roommate anda sambil berkata "Tak lama lagi...tak lama lagi..."

7. Duduk didepan papan chess dua-tiga jam tanpa buat apa2 atau cakap apa2. Lepas tu bangun secara tiba2 sambil berkata, "Siot betul, kalah lagi"

8. Setiap kali roommate balik, tutup lampu dan tidor. lepas dia keluar, bangun dan menjerit dgn kuat "Horee...!". bukak lampu semula.

9. Pakai topi kertas. Bila dia balik, cakap "Selamat Datang ke McDonald. Boleh saya ambil pesanan anda..." Lepas tu buat muka bodoh, sambil berkata "Eh, kau rupanya..."

10. Kata kat roommate "Ada pesanan penting untuk kau". Lepas tu buat2 pengsan. Lepas 2-3 jam, bangun dan cakap yagn anda dah lupa pesanan tu. Kemudian, cakap "Eh...aku dah ingat". Lepas tu pengsan balik.

11. Bila roommate anda balik, berpura2 tengah telefon. Caci maki dan menjerit dengan kuat kat telefon tu. Lepas tu letak telefon dan cakap kat roommate bhw yg telefon tadi adalah mak dia. Cakap mak dia akan telefon balik.

12. Kalau roommate suka gosok gigi kat sinki, perhatikan sampai habis. Lepas dia habis, cakap dengan dia bhw anda kena ajar dia cara mengosok gigi dengan betul.

13. Edarkan risalah ke kawasan kedai/rumah kedai berdekatan rumah/kampung. Dalam risalah tu, nyatakan bahawa roommate anda hilang. Letak sekali gambar dia dlm risalah tu. Tawarkan hadiah kepada sesiapa yg menjumpai roommate anda.

14. Bila roommate anda tutup lampu pd sebelah malam, nyanyi lagu opera sekuat hati. Bila dia buka balik lampu, buat2 muka bodoh dan confused.


15. Mase roommate tido, bungkus dia macam kafan mayat (siap ikat), pastu panggil member dlm 10 bace yasin ramai2.
bile rumet jage pakat2 buat x nmpk ape2.




hahahaha..........try laaa....kui3

Monday, December 29, 2008

WATTS AND KNOTTS

KNOTT: "Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.

WATT: "Watt."

KNOTT: "What is your name, please?"

WATT: "Watt's my name."

KNOTT: "That's what I asked you. What's your name?"

WATT: "That's what I told you. Watt's my name."

A long pause, and then from Watt,

WATT: "Is this James Brown?"

KNOTT: "No, this is Knott."

WATT: "Please tell me your name."

KNOTT: "Will Knott."

YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED, READTHE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...

WATT: "Why not?"

KNOTT: "Huh? What do you mean why not?"

WATT: "Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"

KNOTT: "But I told you my name!"

WATT: "Didn't you say you will not?"

KNOTT: "Not not, knott, Will Knott!"

WATT: "That's what I mean."

KNOTT: "So you know my name."

WATT: "Of course not!"

KNOTT: "Good. So now, what is yours?"

WATT: "Watt. Yours?"

KNOTT: "Your name!"

WATT: "Watt's my name."

KNOTT: "How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"

WATT: "Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have not even told me yours yet."

KNOTT: "You have been patient, what about me? I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet.

WATT: Of course not!"

KNOTT: "See, you even know my name!"

WATT: "Of course not!"

KNOTT: "Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"

WATT: "Because I don't."

[Pause]

KNOTT: "What is your name?"

WATT: "See, you know my name!"

KNOTT: "Of course not!"

WATT: "Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?"

KNOTT: "To find out your name!"

WATT: "But you already know it!"

KNOTT: "What?"

WATT: "See!"

KNOTT: "And you know mine!"

WATT: "Of course not!"

KNOTT: "Exactly!"

NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME, BUT THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.

KNOTT: "Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be your answer?"

WATT: "Watt's my name."

KNOTT: "No, no, give me only one word."

WATT: "Watt"

KNOTT: "Your name!"

WATT: "Right!"

[pause before it hits him]

KNOTT: "Oh, Wright!"

WATT: "Yeah!"

KNOTT: "So why didn't you say it before?"

WATT: "I told you so many times!"

KNOTT: "You never said Wright before"

WATT: "Of course I did."

KNOTT: "Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"

WATT: "I do not."

KNOTT: "Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."

WATT: "I do not!"

KNOTT: "Good!"

[pause before it hits him]

WATT: "Oh, Guud!"

KNOTT: "Good."

WATT: "No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"

KNOTT: "No, it's Knott!"

WATT: "Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."

KNOTT: "Yes Wright."

NOW THEY BOTH THINK THEY KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAME AS WELL! Watt do you think ?? Do they or do they Knott ???

Most Malaysians go to UK to study Law?

UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?

Visitor: I'm here to study law, sir.

Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia.

Visitor: Why do you say that?

Officer: Well, I've been here for a good twenty years, and I'd say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they're here to read law.

Visitor: Oh, really? That's really something I never knew. Hard to believe in fact.

Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I'll bet he's here to read law.

*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter*

Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?

Ah Chong: Study lorr... ("Study lorr" sounds like "Study Law".. heh)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

thankz to all lecturers & friends.......

ni la dekan tue...sapa ckp aku dpt dekan yang study tu...ni haa...



keh3......Result dah kuar...alhamdulillah...thankz to kwn2 n smua lecturer....without u all, im nothing (mcm plain paper).....hehehe..haa... ni laa....anugerah yang saya dpt masa p zoo taiping baru2 ni...hehehe...tgk2....sama mcm result..hehehe

The Power of Love



hmm...ni plak gmbar yg buat ku tertarik masa p zoo tue.......tgk muka burung antu nie..hehe...
the power of love...hahaha....gmbar ini ditujukan kepada semua kwn2 yg sedang bercinta...ish3..hahaha...

Monday, November 24, 2008

come back again

hmm... while hearing to the song Come Back Again-sing by Couple....
now i'm come back again to write in this I am a plain paper......hehe...
hmm...first.... i would like to thanks all my friend during my study in 1st sem....my classmates including my roomate...adib, mus, mie, ber n jamal jahat....hehe...now, i am on holiday..mid sem break..wargh~~~~eagerly want to know my examination result....hopefully my result is in flying colour...hehe...
at my house...there is no connection of internet...huh!.. i only can on9 at my friend house.his name is firdaus...my schoolmate in SAHC....
lastly i want to wish all my friend goodluck in whatever you are doing...and to anyone graduate this year...Happy Convocation to you....
may all your dream comes true......
adios amigos....

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I am a plain paper

I am a plain paper
white, plain, pure, nothing
I eagerly want to make myself meaningful
I want somebody to ink me
I am a plain paper

I pretend to be colourful
but nothing just white
but remember!
white is not meaningless
me myself can be a good friend
for someone who care

without me, pencils is nothing
document is no use of writing
newspaper is not reporting
exam paper is not everything
education mean nothing

I hope I could be...
something is care about
something is remembered
and something people think that
-not just a plain paper

I am a plain paper
I am a plain paper
I am a plain paper



.::farsa fira::.

Monday, October 6, 2008

ouch!! my first post

ouch!! my first post. I will post again, if have any free time...huhu